So I’m having a shit day, right? I have a filling and I can’t feel my mouth and I’m tired because I slept three hours last night and things were snappy with my mother and my dad died on the 29th so I’m always pissy on the 29th and I’ve put on weight and it’s raining and yada yada yada sob story after sob story.
I’m walking back from the train station when this asshole passes and says “cheer up beautiful”. This is my least favourite thing. In fact, it makes me very very angry. Do I have a responsibility to be a constantly smiling happy machine? Is it necessary for your happiness that every random stranger in the street beams at you? Is your ego THAT FRAGILE and your penis THAT SMALL?
Anyway so whatever, I’m cross and for the fifty thousandth time wish I was advanced in kickboxing or something a little more violent than pilates because I just want to feel physically stronger than this absolute dick. I walk for another couple of minutes towards my flat when I pass three guys just hanging around in the middle of the fucking pavement who don’t even move when I walk towards them so I have to step into the main road to get around them and who have the audacity to tell me to “smile!” “cheer up!” “don’t look so fucking miserable!”
At this point, it’s safe to say I feel like I’m. going. to. kill. someone.
My middle sister and I had a conversation about street harassment recently and her argument was that people should be feel free to say whatever because the alternative is making men afraid to approach women in any capacity and breaks down the neighbourly interaction. My argument is that I wish to god these men were afraid of me in the way I am afraid of them. It’s cruel, and harsh, and not necessarily the equality I truly want, but in those moments where I’m sneaking glances behind me, and I have my keys out to use as a weapon, and I’m remembering the self defence classes I took in secondary school, and I’m trying to think how fast I can run in platforms if it comes to it all because some dickwads made some comment about how I should cheer up…well fuck, I want them to fear me.
In the mean time, I’ll work harder at being Mila Kunis.
End of song.