The first step is acknowledging that it exists, and that there’s a gender gap in nearly every form of industry in the country, and the second step is top stop buying into it. We all need to stop feeding it and buying into it.
Yes, many women are insecure. Most of them are insecure not because no guy has ever expressed a desire to fuck them, but because of the dangerously unrealistic standards our society sets for women’s appearance and for the behaviors they must perform in order to maintain that appearance.
So as nice as it would be if all that could be solved by noble, kind-hearted men taking valuable time out of their day to compliment female passerby on their appearance, that’s not gonna happen. Women don’t need men to save us from insecurity. We need to stand up and speak out ourselves against the ways in which our culture keeps us fearful and insecure, and the ways in which we help it to do so.
[…] The result of all this is that many men, even kind and well-meaning men, believe, however subconsciously, that women’s bodies are for them. They are for them to look at, for them to pass judgment on, for them to bless with a compliment if they deign to do so. They are not for women to enjoy, take pride in, love, accept, explore, show off, or hide as they please. They are for men and their pleasure.
[…] When you compliment a random woman who doesn’t know you, no matter how nice you are about it, there’s a good chance she’s going to freak out internally because for all she knows, you could be that latter type. And I get that it’s really unfair that women would just assume that about you. I get that it sucks that sometimes, expressing totally reasonable opinions like “hey you’re hot” will make women terrified of you or furious at you. That’s not fair.
But if you’re going to lay the blame for that somewhere, for fuck’s sake, don’t blame the woman. Blame all the guys who have called her a bitch and a cunt for ignoring their advances. Blame all the guys who may have harassed, abused, or assaulted her in the past. Blame all the people who may never do such a thing themselves, but who were quick to blame her and tell her to just get over it. Blame the fact that if she stops and talks to you and then something bad happens, people will blame her for stopping and talking to you.
“it’s the internet” is an acceptable excuse for some of the ugliest, most dehumanizing, and backwards bullshit ever published.
This is supposed to be the medium of the future, and it’s done more to advance racism, sexism, and homophobia more than any other means of communication in history.
^ this. Let’s get to work, people.
people keep questioning why I’ve recently chosen to start bringing my personal beliefs into my YouTube videos/online presence more, so I thought I’d quickly try to give them an answer. I find that a lot of YouTubers try very hard to stay in neutral territory. this seems to be either because:
a) they don’t want to deal with disagreements and hate on their videos from those who don’t agree,
b) they feel like they have such a large influence over young people that it’s not really their place to divulge their social/political views etc, as younger fans may choose to parrot these beliefs rather than developing their own, and
c) they don’t feel like their personal beliefs are relevant to their online content.
for some, it’s probably a mixture of all three. there are also probably more reasons that I haven’t thought of. those are all totally valid, but I personally choose to share my beliefs online because:
a) I don’t mind getting hate and entering into debates with people in my comments. the hate I tend to ignore, but I do enter into discussions with people who legitimately question what I say, because I like to defend my beliefs rather than just putting my opinion out there and refusing to engage when people challenge it.
b) I feel like I have a bit of a responsibility to my viewers. a large percentage of them are young women, which is why recently I’ve been openly discussing topics such as feminism and sexual harassment. obviously I don’t want anybody to blindly agree with me and take on my beliefs as their own without careful consideration, but the views that I’ve been expressing lately have been things like “women should be treated equally”, “harassment isn’t okay” and “it’s not cool to be invasive and rude just because you can”. these are positive messages, not negative ones, and I don’t feel that they could ever be harmful or misleading.
c) my channel is basically solely about my personality and my life. I make lots of different kinds of videos rather than one specific type of content, and the only thing that links them together is me. I therefore think that my personal beliefs are very relevant to my content, as they’re a pretty big part of who I am.
so there you go. that’s why I’ve been more open about the Stuff I Think lately. I really do hope that you unsubscribe if it bothers you that I’m talking about and defending what I believe, because I’m not going to stop any time soon.
^ THAT’S MY FRIEND EVERYONE.
Hot Pants or Hot Air? by Ruth Whippman at The F Word
It’s a very interesting feature piece, I recommend reading the whole thing, but in case you don’t feel like it, have this carrot too:
“Despite the claims of certain popular science authors, this growing gender divide is not about biology but about money. Treating boys and girls as entirely distinct groups of consumers - each needing their own complete colour-coded set of toys - can double sales.”
Dear men in Congress, you think banning birth control is conservative progress? You think sanctioning my ovaries wont bring me to violence?
How about i tell you what to do with your caucus. It is now illegal to think about me topless, to keep your lotion where your socks is, to refer to powerful women as monsters like those jops at fox did.
I am not afraid to cockblock dick, to sew an instructional video for rape kits to your eyelids and make you watch it. I’ll take away your golf clubs and gun clips. I’m gonna fix this by getting you fixed.
Enough’s enough kid, come on stop that. If you wanna make this law then heres my law rap. You have a right to get strangled by a bra strap. Anything you sexualize with can and will get shot at with a glock cap. I’ll shove your life in a duffle bag hand it over to a sex trafficker and let him smuggle that.
You wanna cuddle dad? NO! DON’T TOUCH ME! YOU CAN’T TOUCH ME ANYMORE! I’m so pissed I forgot how to rhyme. I hate you so much I forgot what I was talking about. Who wants to get mexican food?
Jay-Z do something! This is do or die. These are the new rules I play by. This is the end of the line, kay old white guy? Ladies testify. It’s time to put a measure on the floor against chromosome y. All in favor say “I”
“All In Favor” by Amber Rose Tamblyn
YES I love Amber Tamblyn.