My poorly elaborated point was that I don’t like it when socially awkward people get encouraged to be socially awkward. A community that teaches itself to be proud of a character flaw is just dooming its members to struggle with life outside of that group.
For example, I’m overweight. I have been for a long time. It’s a health-based flaw of mine and one that needs to be addressed. So when I see overweight people being told they’re perfect just the way they are and they should learn to love themselves and ignore ‘the haters’ I get angry. The people that could be encouraging a positive change are instead fostering a flaw.
I keep seeing this post circulated and take a lot of issue with the bottom bit because it speaks to a real lack of understanding when it comes to things like disordered eating and general overeating that is shared by many people who think it’s okay to criticise or withhold any sort of body positivity towards people who are considered by that individual or by a group to be overweight. I believe Laci Green made a video about this too but it really irritates me when anyone is discouraged from loving themselves or thinking they are enough because they have a “flaw”.
Firstly I’m a firm believer that positive thinking is the root (and also I suppose, route) of all positive change and that learning to love yourself is essential for that because when you learn to love yourself, you learn to take care of yourself. So NOT telling people that they are worth loving is in fact more likely to be destructive and if it is a cycle of unhealthy eating, it’s unlikely to be broken by being told that you are not enough as you are and that you should not love yourself and that people who are critical of you might have a point.
Secondly, people spend far too much time thinking about how much other people, often strangers or vague acquaintances, weigh and how much they should weigh. They see it as their role to ~correct that~ like they’re doing a favour to humanity or something. This is the attitude that fosters eating disorders, depression and horribly low self worth.
Furthermore, if you are genuinely concerned for the health of a friend or family member because you think their weight is already linked to some sort of eating disorder (and binge eating is an eating disorder, by the way), being supportive is the way forward and seeking the help of professionals or even informative websites for guidelines on how to help.
tl;dr: I can think of very few occasions when it is not okay to tell people to learn to love themselves.