I’ve been in a weird emotional place for around a week or two. It feels like I’m rolling down a hill in the underworld or something — where it used to be fun, it now feels horrible and devoid of joy, all of the emphasis on the bad bits (the bruises you’d normally ignore, the dirt and the grime). Misery misery. Of course, this all comes when I have more work to do than I can even think about without having an asthma attack. I would really like to spend the day reading LFA or some of the books I got out of the library. Unfortunately, I can’t, because I have to read things for uni. That’s usually the fun exciting part but today for some reason it feels like the biggest burden, the heaviest and most unfair demand of me.
Luckily, the Internet loves Looking for Alaska too, so when I find clips like this, I feel like I’m rereading it for a moment. I desperately want to reread An Abundance of Katherines, actually. I’m saving a reread Paper Towns until Florida in July and that is in itself a great task.
There’s just so much to read and so much to reread. It should be regarded as a wonderful, beautiful thing, but sometimes it feels overwhelming. Someone is pushing my head under the water and it’s too much to bear.
“What a treacherous thing to believe that a person is more than a person” - J.G.
& yet I would do anything to swap places with her (wonderful actress, intelligent, well spoken, gorgeous). Although I would have a rather large girlcrush on myself and it would be Narcissus all over again.
I understand that there are a lot of things about human existence that are extraordinarily arbitrary, like whether or not you get cancer when you’re thirty, or whether or not you’re born in a rich country, or whether or not when you’re twenty-six you happen to meet the world’s hottest Yeti, but just because there are a lot of unfair things in this world that we can’t do anything about doesn’t mean that we don’t have to do things about the things things that we can do something about.
— secret brother John.
I know I post a lot of B2.0 (and generally, Vlogbrothers) videos on this tumblr and call them all my favourite, all-time bests and so on, but this truly is in my top five. As you may have gathered this evening, I really love reading accounts of urban exploration, though I don’t know that I would ever gather the courage to do it myself. It’s even more remarkable to look back at this video having read (and re-read, and re-read, and re-read) Paper Towns.
I think it’s the bit where John says he kept slipping up and calling it ‘the Cathedral’ that makes this my favourite. Reverence is an incredibly overwhelming feeling. At times I think I feel it too much, but then there is a strange reassurance in it.
ETA: Oh, this video also has another of my all-time favourite authors in it, M.T. Anderson. Please read The Astonishing Tale of Octavian Nothing, Traitor to the Nation Parts I and II. Really breathtaking storytelling.