Someone pretty close to me (in theory at least) managed to make me feel the shitty way my dad used to sometimes make me feel (a very specific kind of shitty in both context and reaction) today and that…is not something I know how to deal with.

Because this person was very close to my dad too so calling them out on it would be awful on sixteen thousand different levels. Or at least two, the two being:

1. this person who we both cared a lot about, who is dead, made me feel like shit a lot

2. you, a person I care about and who my dad cared about, are behaving like this person who we cared about, who is dead

And basically I feel like the worst person ever and everything sucks and no response to it is rational or healthy or whatever and blegh.